Bellatrix's journey to Insanity
by xXxMrsGinnyPotterxXx
Summary: Ever wonder what lead to Bellatrix's insanity, surely she couldn't have always been insane. Follow her through the journey of her teens to the downfall of Voldemort and how her insanity came about.


_Have you ever wondered how Bellatrix ended up how she did? What about whether she had feelings before she was affected by her insanity? Well if you have this is the story for you. _

It was one of the rare nights where Slytherin Common room was completely empty except for one person. A girl.

Bellatrix Black sat, pondering things and wondering whether to accept the offer that had been presented to her, next to the crackling fireplace.

She was Head Girl, a Pureblood, girlfriend to the handsome Rodolphus Lestrange, so why was she feeling so empty? It irritated her that she found no reason to be feeling as she did, looking over her life and how her life was going she knew she had no reason to feel how she did, everything was perfect, for her at least.

Her mind drifted back and she smirked remembering one person's life that wasn't perfect. Her blood traitor cousin, Sirius Black.

She remembered the night he got screeched at by her Aunt. She and her two sisters had lived with their Aunt since she was nine when her parents were killed. Resentment rose in her, she would gladly kill the bastard that had made it so she had to live with her loveless Aunt Helena. The only person who seemed to get in her aunt's good books was Regulus, and how she hated him. Since her parents had died neither she nor her two younger sisters had ever known the love they had been used to.

****Memory****

Bellatrix heard a door slam and sat up straight. _Who was arguing this time? _

She stood about to investigate when her Aunt marched into the room.

"That's it, the filthy little Blood Traitor is never coming back," her Aunt snarled nearly frothing at the mouth in rage, her eyes completely wild.

Bellatrix followed her aunt and watched as she blasted her cousin from the tapestry that hung on the wall.

Bellatrix felt nothing. She knew the day had been a long time in coming.

*****End Memory*****

Her cousin had purposely turned against the Blacks the day he made friends with the Blood Traitor Potters. She just hoped that neither she nor her sisters would ever loose their place on that tapestry. The Black sisters had to stick together they were all they had of each other.

She sighed knowing Andromeda was swaying off the pureblood line and she was determined not to let that happen. She would prove to be a better role model.

Finally the decision that she had been debating on was clear. She would join the Death Eaters to show the world that the Black sisters were stronger than the rest, better than the other purebloods.

It was her destiny.

A Year later found Bellatrix kneeling before the Dark Lord, she had been initiated a month earlier and she was about to go on her first mission, and she was determined to complete it.

"Bella, it is time for you to show your loyalty, and to become my most faithful. I want you to go to the house of your forefathers and kill your Blood Traitor Uncle. He has done a great disloyalty by going against our beliefs and needs to be punished for it," her master hissed.

Bellatrix knew if she failed she would die, but she knew that the man her new master was asking her to kill was one of the only Adults that had ever shown her or her sisters love.

She stood nodding; she wouldn't die for a Blood Traitor, Bellatrix Black was better than that. For showing disloyalty, her Uncle had betrayed her and deserved to die.

She apparated in to her Uncle's front room.

"Ah, Bella, I was wondering when you would show up, but I'm not going to reconsider, Helena went too far," her Uncle said with a smile.

He had had an argument with her aunt earlier in the week and he obviously thought she was here to try persuade him into going back.

"You have shown disloyalty, Uncle, and it's time for you to get what has been coming for years," she snarled masking the fear she felt.

Her heart was beating; she wasn't sure she could kill her Uncle.

"What are you harping on about girl? Where's Andy or little Cissy?" her Uncle asked.

"I am showing them the way of life, Uncle, this is good bye, _Avada Kedavra_," she hissed pointing her wand at her Uncle.

The rush of power thrilled her.

Her insides hardened and her thoughts scrabbled as her Uncle fell to the floor dead with his face shaped into a look of great shock.

Her mind flashed back.

****Memory****

She was nine-years-old, and had just been told her Mother and Father had been killed by Aurors for refusing to co-operate. Her Uncle looked down at her stony face. Her two sisters were crying, holding onto each other, beside her in her Aunt's kitchen.

"It is your job to protect them now Bella, lets hope you show them the light," he said sadly.

Bellatrix glared at her Uncle before walking her heartbroken sisters away. She was determined to make sure who ever did this paid.

****Memory End****

She knew that her choice had been right to kill her Uncle; he had been the one to lay the burden of her two sisters on her shoulders.

If they failed that meant she did.

She knew the Death Eaters were the only way to take her revenge on the Aurors. She didn't know which Aurors had killed them, so she would give them all hell.

Her last thoughts were filled with hatred.

Andromeda skipped up to her sister half a year later, she had just graduated. Bellatrix was happy for her sister and she showed it by giving off a genuine smile one that hadn't been used since she had killed for the first time.

"Bella, I'm so happy! Guess who's just proposed to me?" she squealed.

"Who I would like to thank them for making my little Andy so happy?" Bellatrix smiled.

"Ted Tonks, we've been dating for a while now," Andromeda smiled.

Bellatrix's smile slipped and a look of repulse and hatred burned onto her face.

"A Mudblood! I forbid it I will not let one of the legendary Black sisters marry a Mudblood," she hissed, her eyes flashing.

Her sister's smile slipped. "You aren't in control of my future Bella, I live my own life and you must have realised that this was a long time in coming! I will marry him, and whether you are there or not is your decision," Andromeda said, her eyes flashing in hurt and disappointment.

Bellatrix's head spun again as her insides hardened even more. Her mind cast her back._"You're a disappointment to me, girl, you can't even look after your own sisters, how the hell can you look after yourself?" her Aunt Helena hissed. Andromeda had just returned home from St Mungo's after a nasty spell of dragon pox._

The image morphed into one of the Dark Lords face.

"_I am pleased with you__,__ Bella, you alone are my most faithful," he hissed as she reported yet another task complete._

Bellatrix now thrived off that feeling the feeling of pleasure when the Dark Lord told her she was the most faithful.

Andromeda had been the reason she had been a disappointment to everyone else; it was always her fault.

"You little Blood Traitor," Bellatrix snarled at her, the last remaining whole piece of her heart disappeared.

"I don't know what happened to you, Bella, but you no longer look like my big sister. You don't even act like her," Andromeda said quietly.

"I am not your sister, you little blood traitor, I took this upon me to set the right future for you and Narcissa. I see now that you always were determined to make sure that I was, once again, a disappointment," Bellatrix hissed before disappearing.

A year later, Bellatrix married Rodolphus and Narcissa married Lucius Malfoy, they, unlike Andromeda, had married Purebloods.

Bellatrix's supremacy was now untouchable; she had no heart to love with anymore her sister's betrayal saw to that.

Narcissa had joined the Death Eaters shortly after her own graduation. That had been the last time either of them had seen Andromeda. The news that she had a daughter had fuelled Bellatrix's hatred for everyone but Narcissa.

She had become the Dark Lords most faithful servant and was determined never to loose that place. It was known that she was named the Dark Lords most dangerous follower. The Order of the Phoenix had lost many members to her and her speciality with the Cruciatus Curse.

****Memory****

She stood there over the thrashing form of Lily Potter. The Dark Lord was duelling with the brat that had taken her cousin away. Just when Bellatrix knew the Mudblood was about to crack Sirius Black, her blood traitor cousin, cursed her.

She flew back into the wall snarling.

"Didn't Mouldy Shorts teach you never to mess with fire, cousin?" he smirked.

Her fury rose as he insulted the only person still alive that had ever been pleased with her."Black! I wouldn't like to be the reason the Black name becomes extinct. I already killed that pathetic mother of yours. Regulus is dead, you're the only one left, join us and you will remain to continue the family line," she snarled with glee, firing dark curses at her cousin.

She knew she had shocked him with the glee that had filled her voice when she told him about killing the monster that made eight years of her life a living hell.

"Never! You complete psycho bitch," he snarled sending his own spells volleying towards her.

She knew it was more the fact his brother that was dead more than his mother, that ran her cousins rage.

"He was a bad follower, tried to escape, didn't work and instead he was killed, not much of a loss. He never was good enough to be among the powerful," she cackled.

Her mark burned as her master fled when the rest of the Order showed up. She saw with delight that both Potters where on the floor badly injured. Serves them right for thinking themselves better, she thought to herself before disappearing, giving her shocked cousin an insane wink and smug smirk as she went.

****End Memory****

Bellatrix knew that that memory was the first time her true insanity showed.

A prophecy was revealed to the Death Eaters and their master. It was said the one to bring down their master was to be born soon. It was well known only two couples had thrice defied and still lived.

The Potters and the Longbottoms and both wives were pregnant.

A year and a half later the Dark Lord disappeared after going to the Potters house they had decided it was them that were likely to behold the child of the Prophecy.

When he didn't return, Bellatrix, Rodolphus, his brother Rabastan and Barty Crouch junior went searching. First they went to the ruins of the Potter house, nothing was left.

"The Longbottoms; they'll know something," Rodolphus snarled to her.

She nodded in agreement, she was calm, and she knew her Master would be back. He wouldn't just abandon his most Apparated in front of the Longbottoms' house. They kept to the shadow to make sure not to alert the residence of the house of their presence. Bellatrix blew the door open. They were in the living room with a sleeping baby.

"Lestrange!" Frank snarled at her husband.

Bellatrix ignored the man, her eyes lingered on the woman, Alice, and her son.A strange longing erupted as she looked at the baby. She hated the baby for it, knowing she could never have a child of her own. "Stupefy," she said making the baby go limb.

****Memory****

She had just been involved in a nasty duel, with Alice Longbottom, Bellatrix had won but not without been cursed first she would have killed the woman that lay bleeding on the floor if she hadn't been called by her master. She staggered over to the Death Eater that was in charge of healing.

"You'll be fine, except you won't be able to become with child, the curse ruined all hope of that ever happening," he said.

She had killed him just for giving her that devastating news. The Longbottoms became top of her target list. They were both Aurors, had a child that may well just ruin everything she had worked for, and had made sure she couldn't have a child.

****Memory End****

Her hatred for them filled her.

"This is for the child I can no longer have, _Crucio_," she snarled pointing her wand at the woman.

She was aware of a man's scream added to the woman's.

She turned her head slightly seeing her husband and her fellow Death Eaters doing the same to Frank Longbottom that she was to Alice.

Bellatrix felt the woman's sanity leave her and felt her own join it.

She hated the woman more than anything.

Before she could turn her wand on the child, the doors banged open.

Aurors filled in.

"Aw, the ikkle Aurors were too late to save there ikkle fweinds," she cackled next thing she was aware of was a cold feeling, a feeling she knew only came with Dementors.

She cackled. Her life was so dark and full of despair that they hardly affected her.

As her memories flashed before her eyes, more hared and insanity crept in. She hardly noticed the Aurors arresting her.

Within a few weeks, she was thrust into a court room, with the whole Wizengamot. She saw her husband, brother in law and Barty Crouch Jr.

She felt nothing for any of them.

She sat looking smug and supreme as Bart Crouch senior read off their charges, while his son screamed his innocence. She would have cursed the little traitor had she had her wand.

The Dementors glided in and she, Rodolphus and Rabastan stood while Barty Crouch Jr pleaded with his father.

She screamed to the room at large as the Dementors took hold. "The Dark Lord will rise again Crouch! Throw us into Azkaban we will wait! He will rise again and will come for us; he will reward us beyond any of his other supporters! We alone were faithful! We alone tried to find him!"*

She was pleased when most of the room broke into mutters as their faces turned pale.

As the Dementors took her back to her cell she saw her Blood Traitor cousin sat in a cell for what one of his best friends had done.

****Memory****

Little Peter Pettigrew stood before their master. "M-my L-lord I know the whereabouts of James, Lily and Harry Potter. They made me their secret keeper," he stuttered handing over a slip of Parchment. Bellatrix could tell her master was pleased, because of the expression of malice on his face. She envied Pettigrew for the first time in her life, purely for getting the praise of the Dark Lord, who she alone was faithful to.

****End Memory****

That envy was now a burning hatred. He was the reason she was without a master, he was the reason she was stuck in prison.

She didn't know how long she had been stuck in her cell when she got her first and last visit.

Andromeda stood in front of her cell.

"What happened to you, Bella?" she asked disgust and pity was evident in her sister's voice.

"I could ask you the same Blood Traitor; you turned the three legendary Black sisters to a two. I was always the disappointment because of you. I decided to change that I took on a new life where I was honoured above all, I alone was most faithful and one day in the future I will be again," she smirked.

"From where I am stood, you are a disappointment. You're only honoured by Voldemort while you continue to do everything he said, you fail once, just once and you brutally find out you're just like any other slave to him," Andromeda spat.

"Filthy little Blood Traitor, you dare speak his name, you dare speak to me like that," Bellatrix screeched.

"Yes, I dare, Bella, but you daren't. Bella, I came today to tell you that you ruined your chances to be Nymphadora's Aunt; you are no longer my sister just like I'm no longer a Black. You killed your family when you turned to Voldemort, in fact rumour has it you did kill Uncle, and Aunt Helena, and almost killed Sirius. What you did to Frank and Alice was the final straw. You finally are dead to me Bella. You left a one-and-a-half-year-old parent-less, just like that monster you called a master did to little Harry. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived now has to live without his parents, all because Voldemort wanted something he couldn't have. Goodbye, Bella. I hope never to see you again," Andromeda said letting one tear run for the loss of her big sister.

As Andromeda left she didn't realise she had just stripped Bellatrix Black Lestrange of her last bit of sanity. Bellatrix sat there not saying a word waiting for her master to come for her. Trying to rid her mind of the words her younger sister had stripped her sanity with.

* quote from Goblet of Fire, chapter - the pensive


End file.
